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Daily Omer Meditation_
by Rabbi Simon Jacobson
A practical guide to becoming great in 49
days.
Courtesy of http://www.meaningfullife.com
With the mitzvah of counting the 49 days, known as Sefirat Ha'Omer, the Torah
invites us on a journey into the human psyche, into the soul. There are seven
basic emotions that make up the spectrum of human experience. At the root of
all forms of enslavement, is a distortion of these emotions. Each of the seven
weeks between Passover and Shavuot is dedicated to examining and refining one
of them.
The seven emotional attributes are:
- Chesed - Loving-kindness
- Gevurah -- Justice and discipline
- Tiferet - Harmony, compassion
- Netzach - Endurance
- Hod - Humility
- Yesod - Bonding
- Malchut - Sovereignty, leadership
The seven weeks, which represent these emotional
attributes, further divide into seven days making up the 49 days of the
counting. Since a fully functional emotion is multidimensional, it includes
within itself a blend of all seven attributes. Thus, the counting of the first
week, which begins on the second night of Pesach, as well as consisting of the
actual counting ("Today is day one of the Omer...") would consist of
the following structure with suggested meditations:
Upon conclusion of the 49 days we arrive at the 50th day --
Mattan Torah. After we have achieved all we can
accomplish through our own initiative, traversing and refining every emotional
corner of our psyche, we then receive a gift ('mattan'
in Hebrew) from above. We receive that which we could not achieve with our own
limited faculties. We receive the gift of true freedom -- the ability to
transcend our human limitations and touch the divine.
* * *
WEEK 1 - CHESED:
LOVING-KINDNESS
Day 1 -- Chesed of Chesed:
Loving-kindness in Loving-kindness
Love is the single most powerful and necessary component in
life. It is both giving and receiving. Love allows us to reach above and beyond
ourselves, to experience another person and to allow that person to experience
us. It is the tool by which we learn to experience the highest reality -- God.
Examine the love aspect of your love.
Ask yourself: What is my capacity to love another person?
Do I have problems with giving? Am I stingy or selfish? Is it difficult for me
to let someone else into my life? Am I afraid of my vulnerability, of opening
up and getting hurt?
Exercise for the day: Find a new way to express your love to
a dear one.
Day 2 -- Gevurah of Chesed:
Discipline in Loving-kindness
Healthy love must always include an element of discipline
and discernment; a degree of distance and respect for another's boundaries; an
assessment of another's capacity to contain your love. Love must be tempered
and directed properly. Ask a parent who, in the name of love, has spoiled a
child; or someone who suffocates a spouse with love and doesn't allow them any
personal space.
Exercise for the day: Help someone on their terms not on
yours. Apply yourself to their specific needs even if it takes effort.
Day 3 -- Tiferet of Chesed:
Compassion, Harmony in Loving-kindness
Harmony in love is one that blends both the chesed and gevurah aspects of
love. Harmonized love includes empathy and compassion. Love is often given with
the expectation of receiving love in return. Compassionate love is given
freely; expects nothing in return - even when the other doesn't deserve love. Tiferet is giving also to those who have hurt you.
Exercise for the day: Offer a helping hand to a stranger.
Day 4 -- Netzach of Chesed:
Endurance in Loving-kindness
Is my love enduring? Does it withstand challenges and
setbacks? Do I give and withhold love according to my moods or is it constant
regardless of the ups and downs of life?
Exercise for the day: Reassure a loved one of the constancy
of your love
Day 5 -- Hod of Chesed:
Humility in Loving-kindness
You can often get locked in love and be unable to forgive
your beloved or to bend or compromise your position. Hod
introduces the aspect of humility in love; the ability to rise above yourself
and forgive or give in to the one you love just for the sake of love even if
you're convinced that you're right. Arrogant love is not love.
Exercise for the day: Swallow your pride and reconcile with
a loved one with whom you have quarreled.
Day 6 -- Yesod of Chesed:
Bonding in Loving-kindness
For love to be eternal it requires bonding. A sense of togetherness which actualizes the love in a joint
effort. An intimate connection, kinship and
attachment, benefiting both parties. This bonding bears
fruit; the fruit born out of a healthy union.
Exercise for the day: Start building something constructive
together with a loved one
Day 7 -- Malchut of Chesed:
Nobility in Loving-kindness
Mature love comes with -- and brings -- personal dignity. An intimate feeling of nobility and regality. Knowing your special place and contribution in this world.
Any love that is debilitating and breaks the human spirit is no love at all.
For love to be complete it must have the dimension of personal sovereignty.
Exercise for the day: Highlight an aspect of your love that
has bolstered your spirit and enriched your life...and celebrate.
* * *
WEEK 2 - GEVURAH:
JUSTICE, DISCIPLINE, RESTRAINT, AWE
After the miraculous Exodus from
During this time, the aspect of the human psyche that most
requires refinement is the area of the emotions. The spectrum of human
experience consists of seven emotional attributes, or sefirot.
This week we continue Sefirat Ha'Omer,
utilizing the seven dimensions of the seven emotional attributes. The first
week after Pesach was dedicated to examining the aspect of chesed,
loving-kindness. The second week corresponds to the emotional attribute of gevurah, discipline or justice.
If love (Chesed) is the bedrock
of human expression, discipline (Gevurah) is the
channel through which we express love. It gives our life and love direction and
focus. Gevurah -- discipline and measure --
concentrates and directs our efforts, our love in the proper directions.
Day 8 - Chesed of Gevurah:
Loving-kindness in Discipline
The underlying intention and motive in discipline is love.
Why do we measure our behavior, why do we establish standards and expect people
to live up to them -- only because of love. Chesed of gevurah is the love in
discipline; it is the recognition that your personal
discipline and the discipline you expect of others is only an expression of
love. It is the understanding that we have no right to judge others; we have a
right only to love them and that includes wanting them to be their best.
Ask yourself: when I judge and criticize another is it in
any way tinged with any of my own contempt and irritation? Is there any hidden
satisfaction in his failure? Or is it only out of love for the other?
Exercise for the day: Before you criticize someone today,
think twice: Is it out of concern and love?
Day 9 -- Gevurah of Gevurah:
Discipline in Discipline
Examine the discipline factor of discipline: Is my
discipline reasonably restrained or is it excessive? Do I have enough
discipline in my life and in my interactions? Am I organized? Is my time used efficiently?
Why do I have problems with discipline and what can I do to enhance it? Do I
take time each day for personal accounting of my schedule and accomplishments?
Exercise for the day: Make a detailed plan for spending
your day and at the end of the day see if you've lived up to it.
Day 10 -- Tiferet of Gevurah:
Compassion in Discipline
Underlying and driving discipline must not only be love,
but also compassion. Compassion is unconditional love. It is love just for the
sake of love, not considering the others position. Tiferet
is a result of total selflessness in the eyes of God. You love for no reason;
you love because you are a reflection of God. Does my discipline have this
element of compassion?
Exercise for the day: Be compassionate to someone you have
reproached.
Day 11 -- Netzach of Gevurah:
Endurance in Discipline
Effective discipline must be enduring and tenacious. Is my
discipline consistent or only when forced? Do I follow through with discipline?
Am I perceived as a weak disciplinarian?
Exercise for the day: Extend the plan you made on day two
for a longer period of time listing short-term and long-term goals. Review and
update it each day, and see how consistent you are and if you follow through.
Day 12 -- Hod of Gevurah:
Humility in Discipline
The results of discipline and might without humility are
obvious. The greatest catastrophes have occurred as a result of people sitting
in arrogant judgment of others. Am I arrogant in the name of justice (what I
consider just)? Do I ever think that I sit on a higher pedestal and bestow
judgment on my subjects below? What about my children? Students?
Exercise for the day: Before judging anyone, insure that
you are doing so selflessly with no personal bias
Day 13 -- Yesod of Gevurah:
Bonding in Discipline
For discipline to be effective it must be coupled with
commitment and bonding. Both in disciplining yourself and others there has to be a sense that the discipline is important for
developing a stronger bond. Not that I discipline you, but that we are doing it
together for our mutual benefit.
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate to your child or student
how discipline is an expression of intensifying your bond and commitment to
each other.
Day 14 -- Malchut of Gevurah:
Nobility of Discipline
Discipline, like love, must enhance personal dignity.
Discipline that breaks a person will backfire. Healthy discipline should
bolster self-esteem and help elicit the best in a person; cultivating his
sovereignty. Does my discipline cripple the human spirit; does it weaken or
strengthen me and others?
Exercise for the day: When disciplining your child or
student, foster his self-respect
* * *
WEEK 3 - TIFERET -
HARMONY, COMPASSION
During the third week of Counting the Omer, we examine the
emotional attribute of Tiferet or compassion. Tiferet blends and harmonizes the free outpouring love of Chesed with the discipline of Gevurah.
Tiferet possesses this power by introducing a third
dimension -- the dimension of truth, which is neither love nor discipline and
therefore can integrate the two.
Truth is accessed through selflessness: rising above your
ego and your predispositions, enabling you to realize truth. Truth gives you a
clear and objective picture of yours and others' needs. This quality gives Tiferet its name, which means beauty: it blends the
differing colors of love and discipline, and this harmony makes it beautiful.
Day 15 -- Chesed of Tiferet:
Loving-kindness in Compassion
Examine the love aspect of compassion. Ask yourself: Is my
compassion tender and loving or does it come across as
pity? Is my sympathy condescending and patronizing? Even if my intention is
otherwise, do others perceive it as such? Does my compassion overflow with love
and warmth; is it expressed with enthusiasm, or is it static and lifeless?
Exercise for the day: When helping someone extend yourself
in the fullest way; offer a smile or a loving gesture.
Day 16 -- Gevurah of Tiferet:
Discipline in Compassion
For compassion to be effective and healthy it needs to be
disciplined and focused. It requires discretion both to whom you express
compassion, and in the measure of the compassion itself. It is recognizing when
compassion should be expressed and when it should be withheld or limited.
Discipline in compassion is knowing that being truly
compassionate sometimes requires withholding compassion. Because compassion is
not an expression of the bestower's needs but a
response to the recipient's needs.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a focused
and constructive manner by addressing someone's specific needs.
Day 17 -- Tiferet of Tiferet:
Compassion in Compassion
True compassion is limitless. It is not an extension of
your needs and defined by your limited perspective. Compassion for another is
achieved by having a selfless attitude, rising above yourself and placing
yourself in the other person's situation and experience. Am I prepared and able
to do that? If not, why? Do I express and actualize the compassion and empathy
in my heart? What blocks me from expressing it? Is my compassion compassionate
or self-serving? Is it compassion that comes out of guilt rather than genuine
empathy? How does that affect and distort my compassion? Test yourself by
seeing if you express compassion even when you don't feel guilty.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a new way
that goes beyond your previous limitations: express it towards someone to whom
you have been callous.
Day 18 -- Netzach of Tiferet:
Endurance in Compassion
Is my compassion enduring and consistent? Is it reliable or
whimsical? Does it prevail among other forces in my life? Do I have the
capacity to be compassionate even when I'm busy with other activities or only
when it's comfortable for me? Am I ready to stand up and fight for another?
Exercise for the day: In the middle of your busy day take a
moment and call someone who needs a compassionate word. Defend someone who is
in need of sympathy even if it's not a popular position.
Day 19 -- Hod of Tiferet:
Humility in Compassion
If compassion is not to be condescending, it must include
humility. Hod is recognizing that my ability to be
compassionate and giving does not make me better than the recipient; it is the
acknowledgment and appreciation that by creating one who needs compassion God
gave me the gift of being able to bestow compassion. Thus there is no place for
haughtiness in compassion.
Do I feel superior because I am compassionate? Do I look
down at those that need my compassion? Am I humble and thankful to God for
giving me the ability to have compassion for others?
Exercise for the day: Express compassion in an anonymous
fashion, not taking any personal credit.
Day 20 -- Yesod of Tiferet:
Bonding in Compassion
For compassion to be fully realized, it needs bonding. It
requires creating a channel between giver and receiver; a mutuality that
extends beyond the moment of need. A bond that continues to
live on. That is the most gratifying result of true compassion. Do you
bond with the one you have compassion for, or do you remain apart? Does your
interaction achieve anything beyond a single act of sympathy?
Exercise for the day: Ensure that something eternal is
built as a result of your compassion.
Day 21 -- Malchut of Tiferet:
Nobility in Compassion
Examine the dignity of your compassion. For compassion to
be complete (and enhance the other six aspects of compassion) it must recognize
and appreciate individual sovereignty. It should boost self-esteem and
cultivate human dignity. Both your own dignity and the
dignity of the one benefiting from your compassion.
Is my compassion expressed in a dignified manner? Does it
elicit dignity in others? Do I recognize the fact that when I experience
compassion as dignified it will reflect reciprocally in the one who receives
compassion?
Exercise for the day: Rather than just giving charity, help
the needy help themselves in a fashion that strengthens their dignity.
* * *
During the fourth week of counting the Omer, we examine and
refine the emotional attribute of endurance known as Netzach.
Netzach means endurance, fortitude and ambition and
is a combination of determination and tenacity. It is a balance of patience,
persistence and guts. Endurance is also being reliable and accountable, which
establishes security and commitment.
Without endurance, any good endeavor or intention has no
chance of success. Endurance means to be alive, to be driven by what counts. It
is the readiness to fight for what you believe, to go all the way. This, of
course, requires that endurance be closely examined to ensure that it is used
in a healthy and productive manner.
Day 22 -- Chesed of Netzach:
Loving-kindness in Endurance
For anything to endure it needs to be loved. A neutral or
indifferent attitude will reflect in a marginal commitment. If you have
difficulty making commitments, examine how much you love and enjoy the object
that requires your commitment. Do I love my work? My family?
My choices? For endurance to be effective it needs to
be caring and loving. Does my endurance cause me to be, or seem to be,
inflexible? Does my drive and determination cause me to be controlling? Am I
too demanding? Do others (my employees, friends, children)
cooperate with me out of the sheer force of my will and drive, or out of love?
Exercise for the day: When fighting for something you
believe in, pause a moment to ensure that it is accomplished in a loving
manner.
Day 23 -- Gevurah of Netzach:
Discipline in Endurance
Examine the discipline of your endurance. Endurance must be
directed toward productive goals and expressed in a constructive manner. Is my
endurance and determination focused to help cultivate good habits and break bad
ones? Or is it the other way around? Does my endurance come from strength or
weakness? Does it come out of deep conviction or out of defensiveness? Do I use
my endurance against itself by being tenacious in my lack of determination?
Exercise for the day: Break one bad habit today.
Day 24 -- Tiferet of Netzach:
Compassion in Endurance
Healthy endurance, directed to develop good qualities and
modifying bad ones, will always be compassionate. The compassion of endurance
reflects a most beautiful quality of endurance: an enduring commitment to help
another grow. Endurance without compassion is misguided and selfish. Endurance
needs to be not just loving to those who deserve love,
but also compassionate to the less fortunate. Does my determination compromise
my compassion for others? Am I able to rise above my ego and empathize with my
competitors? Am I gracious in victory?
Exercise for the day: Be patient and listen to someone who
usually makes you impatient.
Day 25- Netzach of Netzach:
Endurance in Endurance
Everyone has willpower and determination. We have the
capacity to endure much more than we can imagine, and to prevail under the most
trying of circumstances.
Ask yourself: Is my behavior erratic? Am I inconsistent and
unreliable? Since I have will and determination, why am I so mercurial? Am I
afraid of accessing my endurance and committing? Do I fear being trapped by my
commitment? If yes, why? Is it a reaction to some past
trauma? Instead of cultivating endurance in healthy areas, have I developed a
capacity for endurance of unhealthy experiences? Do I endure more pain than
pleasure? Do I underestimate my capacity to endure?
Exercise for the day: Commit yourself to developing a new
good habit.
Day 26 -- Hod of Netzach:
Humility in Endurance
Yielding -- which is a result of humility -- is an
essential element of enduring. Standing fast can sometimes be a formula for
destruction. The oak, lacking the ability to bend in the hurricane, is
uprooted. The reed, which yields to the wind, survives without a problem. Do I
know when to yield, out of strength not fear? Why am I often afraid to yield?
Endurance is fueled by inner strength. Hod
of Netzach is the humble recognition and
acknowledgement that the capacity to endure and prevail comes from the soul
that God gave each person. This humility does not compromise the drive of
endurance; on the contrary, it intensifies it, because human endurance can go
only so far and endure only so much, whereas endurance that comes from the
Divine soul is limitless.
Do I attribute my success solely to my own strength and
determination? Am I convinced that I am all-powerful due to my level of
endurance? Where do I get the strength at times when everything seems so bleak?
Exercise for the day: When you awake, acknowledge God for
giving you a soul with the extraordinary power and versatility to endure
despite trying challenges. This will allow you to draw energy and strength for
the entire day.
Day 27 -- Yesod of Netzach:
Bonding in Endurance
Bonding is an essential quality of endurance. It expresses
your unwavering commitment to the person or experience you are bonding with, a
commitment so powerful that you will endure all to preserve it. Endurance
without bonding will not endure.
Exercise for the day: To ensure the endurance of your new
resolution, bond with it immediately. This can be assured by promptly
actualizing your resolution in some constructive deed or committing yourself to
another.
Day 28 -- Malchus of Netzach:
Nobility in Endurance
Sovereignty is the cornerstone of endurance. Endurance that
encompasses the previous six qualities is indeed a tribute and testimony to the
majesty of the human spirit. Is my endurance dignified? Does it bring out the
best in me? When faced with hardships do I behave like a king or queen, walking
proudly with my head up, confident in my God-given strengths, or do I cower and
shrivel up in fear? Exercise for the day: Fight for a dignified cause.
* * *
During the fifth week of counting the Omer, we examine and
refine the emotional attribute of Hod or humility.
Humility -- and the resulting yielding -- should not be confused with weakness
and lack of self-esteem. Hod or humility is modesty
-- it is acknowledgment (from the root of the Hebrew word "hoda'ah"). It is saying "thank you" to God.
It is clearly recognizing your qualities and strengths and acknowledging that
they are not your own; they were given to you by God for a higher purpose than
just satisfying your own needs. Humility is modesty; it is recognizing how
small you are which allows you to realize how large you can become. And that
makes humility so formidable.
A full cup cannot be filled. When you're
filled with yourself and your needs, "I and nothing else", there is
no room for more. When you "empty" yourself
before something greater than yourself, your capacity to receive increases
beyond your previously perceived limits. Humility is the key to
transcendence; to reach beyond yourself. Only true
humility gives you the power of total objectivity. Humility is sensitivity; it
is healthy shame out of recognition that you can be better than you are and
that you can expect more of yourself. Although humility is silent it is not a
void. It is a dynamic expression of life that includes all seven qualities of
love, discipline, compassion, endurance, humility, bonding and sovereignty.
Day 29 -- Chesed of Hod:
Loving-kindness in Humility
Examine the love in your humility. Healthy humility is not
demoralizing; it brings love and joy not fear. Humility that lacks love has to
be reexamined for its authenticity. Sometimes humility can be confused with low
self-esteem, which would cause it to be unloving. Humility brings love because
it gives you the ability to rise above yourself and love another. Does my
humility cause me to be more loving and giving? More
expansive? Or does it inhibit and constrain me?
Exercise for the day: Before praying with humility and
acknowledgment of God, give some charity. It will enhance your prayers.
Day 30 -- Gevurah of Hod:
Discipline in Humility
Humility must be disciplined and focused. When should my
humility cause me to compromise and when not? In the name of humility do I
sometimes remain silent and neutral in the face of wickedness? Humility must
also include respect and awe for the person or experience before whom you stand humble. If my humility is wanting, is it
because I don't respect another?
Exercise for the day: Focus in on your reluctance to commit
in a given area to see if it originates from a healthy, humble place.
Day 31 -- Tiferet of Hod:
Compassion in Humility
Examine if your humility is compassionate. Does my humility
cause me to be self-contained and anti-social or does it express itself in
empathy for others. Is my humility balanced and beautiful? Or is it awkward?
Just as humility brings compassion, compassion can lead one to humility. If you
lack humility, try acting compassionately, which can help bring you to
humility.
Exercise for the day: Express a humble feeling in an act of
compassion.
Day 32 -- Netzach of Hod:
Endurance in Humility
Examine the strength and endurance of your humility. Does
my humility withstand challenges? Am I firm in my positions or do I waffle in
the name of humility? Humility and modesty should not cause one to feel weak
and insecure. Netzach of Hod
underscores the fact that true humility does not make you into a
"doormat" for others to step on; on the contrary, humility gives you
enduring strength. Is my humility perceived as weakness? Does that cause others
to take advantage of me?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the strength of your
humility by initiating or actively participating in a good cause.
Day 33 -- Hod of Hod:
Humility in Humility
Everyone has humility and modesty in their hearts, the
question is the measure and manner in which one consciously feels it. Am I
afraid to be too humble? Do I mask and protect my modesty with aggressive
behavior? Humility must also be examined for its genuineness. Is my humility
humble? Or is it yet another expression of arrogance? Do I take too much pride
in my humility? Do I flaunt it? Is it self-serving? Is my humility part of a
crusade or is it genuine?
Exercise for the day: Be humble just for its own sake.
Day 34 -- Yesod of Hod:
Bonding in Humility
Humility should not be a lonely experience. It ought to
result in deep bonding and commitment. There is no stronger bond than one that
comes out of humility. Does my humility separate me from others or bring us
closer? Does my humility produce results? Long term results?
Does it create an everlasting foundation upon which I and others can rely and build.
Exercise for the day: Use your humility to build something
lasting.
Day 35 -- Malchut of Hod:
Nobility in Humility
Walking humbly is walking tall. Dignity is the essence of
humility and modesty. The splendor of humility is majestic and aristocratic.
Humility that suppresses the human spirit and denies individual sovereignty is not
humility at all. Does my humility make me feel dignified? Do I feel alive and
vibrant?
Exercise for the day: Teach someone how humility and
modesty enhance human dignity.
* * *
During the sixth week of counting the Omer, we examine and
refine the emotional attribute of Yesod or bonding.
Bonding means connecting; not only feeling for another, but being attached to
him. Not just a token commitment, but total devotion. It creates a channel
between giver and receiver. Bonding is eternal. It develops an everlasting
union that lives on forever through the perpetual fruit it bears.
Bonding is the foundation of life. The
emotional spine of the human psyche. Every person needs bonding to
flourish and grow. The bonding between mother and child;
between husband and wife; between brothers and sisters; between close friends.
Bonding is affirmation; it gives one the sense of belonging; that "I
matter", "I am significant and important". It establishes trust
-- trust in yourself and trust in others. It instills
confidence. Without bonding and nurturing we cannot realize and be ourselves.
Day 36 -- Chesed of Yesod:
Loving-kindness of Bonding
Love is the heart of bonding. You cannot bond without love.
Love establishes a reliable base on which bonding can build. If you have a
problem bonding, examine how much you love the one (or the experience) with
which you wish to bond. Do I try to bond without first fostering a loving
attitude? Is my bonding expressed in a loving manner?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the bond you have with
your child or friend through an act of love.
Day 37 -- Gevurah of Yesod:
Discipline of Bonding
Bonding must be done with discretion and careful
consideration with whom and with what you bond. Even the healthiest and closest
bonding needs "time out", a respect for each individual's space. Do I
overbond? Am I too dependent on the one I bond with?
Is he too dependent on me? Do I bond out of desperation? Do I bond with
healthy, wholesome people?
Exercise for the day: Review the discipline in your bonding
experiences to see if it needs adjustment.
Day 38 -- Tiferet of Yesod:
Compassion in Bonding
Bonding needs to be not only loving but also compassionate,
feeling your friend's pain and empathizing with him. Is my bonding conditional?
Do I withdraw when I am uncomfortable with my friend's troubles?
Exercise for the day: Offer help and support in dealing
with an ordeal of someone with whom you have bonded.
Day 39 -- Netzach of Yesod:
Endurance in Bonding
An essential component of bonding is its endurance; its
ability to withstand challenges and setbacks. Without endurance there is no
chance to develop true bonding. Am I totally committed to the one with whom I
bond? How much will I endure and how ready am I to fight to maintain this bond?
Is the person I bond with aware of my devotion?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the endurance level of
your bonding by confronting a challenge that obstructs the bond.
Day 40 -- Hod of Yesod:
Humility of Bonding
Humility is crucial in healthy bonding. Arrogance divides
people. Preoccupation with your own desires and needs separates you from
others. Humility allows you to appreciate another person and bond with him.
Healthy bonding is the union of two distinct people, with independent personalities,
who join for a higher purpose than satisfying their own needs. True humility
comes from recognizing and acknowledging God in your life. Am I aware of the
third partner -- God -- in bonding? And that this partner gives me the capacity
to unite with another, despite our distinctions.
Exercise for the day: When praying acknowledge God
specifically for helping you bond with others.
Day 41 -- Yesod of Yesod:
Bonding in Bonding
Every person needs and has the capacity to bond with other
people, with significant undertakings and with meaningful experiences. Do I
have difficulty bonding? Is the difficulty in all areas or only in certain
ones? Do I bond easily with my job, but have trouble bonding with people? Or vice versa?
Examine the reasons for not bonding. Is it because I am too
critical and find fault in everything as an excuse for not bonding? Am I too
locked in my own ways? Is my not bonding a result of discomfort with
vulnerability? Have I been hurt in my past bonding experiences? Has my trust
been abused? Is my fear of bonding a result of the deficient bonding I
experienced as a child?
To cultivate your capacity to bond, even if you have valid
reasons to distrust, you must remember that God gave you a Divine soul that is
nurturing and loving and you must learn to recognize the voice within, which
will allow you to experience other people's souls and hearts. Then you can
slowly drop your defenses when you recognize someone or something you can truly
trust.
One additional point: Bonding breeds bonding. When you bond
in one area of your life, it helps you bond in other areas.
Exercise for the day: Begin bonding with a new person or
experience you love by committing designated time each day or week to spend
together constructively.
Day 42 -- Malchut of Yesod:
Nobility in Bonding
Bonding must enhance a person's sovereignty. It should
nurture and strengthen your own dignity and the dignity of the one you bond
with. Does my bonding inhibit the expression of my personality and qualities?
Does it overwhelm the one I bond with?
Exercise for the day: Emphasize and highlight the strengths
of the one with whom you bond.
* * *
WEEK 7 - MALCHUT -
SOVEREIGNTY, LEADERSHIP
During the seventh and final week of counting the Omer, we
examine and refine the attribute of Malchut --
nobility, sovereignty and leadership. Sovereignty is a state of being rather
than an activity. Nobility is a passive expression of human dignity that has
nothing of its own except that which it receives from the other six emotions.
True leadership is the art of selflessness; it is only a reflection of a Higher will. On the other hand, Malchut
manifests and actualizes the character and majesty of the human spirit. It is
the very fiber of what makes us human.
Malchut is a sense of belonging. Knowing that
you matter and that you make a difference. That you
have the ability to be a proficient leader in your own right. It gives
you independence and confidence. A feeling of certainty and
authority. When a mother lovingly cradles her child in her arms and the
child's eyes meet the mother's affectionate eyes, the child receives the
message: "I am wanted and needed in this world. I have a comfortable place
where I will always be loved. I have nothing to fear. I feel like royalty in my
heart." This is Malchut, kingship.
Day 43 -- Chesed of Malchut:
Loving-kindness in Nobility
Healthy sovereignty is always kind and loving. An effective
leader needs to be warm and considerate. Does my sovereignty make me more
loving? Do I exercise my authority and leadership in a caring manner? Do I
impose my authority on others?
Exercise for the day: Do something kind for your
subordinates
Day 44 -- Gevurah of Malchut:
Discipline in Nobility
Although sovereignty is loving, it
needs to be balanced with discipline. Effective leadership is built on
authority and discipline. There is another factor in the discipline of
sovereignty: determining the area in which you have jurisdiction and authority.
Do I recognize when I am not an authority? Do I exercise
authority in unwarranted situations? Am I aware of my limitations as well as my
strengths? Do I respect the authority of others?
Exercise for the day: Before taking an authoritative
position on any given issue, pause and reflect if you have the right and the
ability to exercise authority in this situation.
Day 45 -- Tiferet of Malchut:
Compassion in Nobility
A good leader is a compassionate one. Is my compassion
compromised because of my authority? Do I realize that an integral part of
dignity is compassion? Tiferet -- harmony -- is
critical for successful leadership. Do I manage a smooth-running operation? Am
I organized? Do I give clear instructions to my subordinates? Do I have
difficulty delegating power? Do we have frequent staff meetings to coordinate
our goals and efforts?
Exercise for the day: Review an area where you wield
authority and see if you can polish it up and increase its effectiveness by
curtailing excesses and consolidating forces.
Day 46 -- Netzach of Malchut:
Endurance in Nobility
A person's dignity and a leader's success are tested by his
endurance level. Will and determination reflect the power and
majesty of the human spirit. How determined am I in reaching my goals?
How strong is my conviction to fight for a dignified cause? How confident am I
in myself? Is my lack of endurance a result of my low self-esteem? Do I mask my
insecurities by finding other excuses for my low endurance level?
Exercise for the day: Act on something that you believe in
but have until now been tentative about. Take the leap and just do it!
Day 47 -- Hod of Malchut:
Humility in Nobility
Sovereignty is God's gift to each individual. Hod of Malchut is the humble
appreciation of this exceptional gift. Does my sovereignty and independence
humble me? Am I an arrogant leader? Do I appreciate the special qualities I was
blessed with?
Exercise for the day: Acknowledge God for creating you with
personal dignity
Day 48 -- Yesod of Malchut:
Bonding in Nobility
Examine the bonding aspect of your sovereignty. Healthy
independence should not prevent you from bonding with another person. On the
contrary: self-confidence allows you to respect and trust another's sovereignty
and ultimately bond with him. That bond will strengthen your own sovereignty,
rather than sacrifice it.
Does my sovereignty prevent me from bonding? Could that be
because of deeper insecurities of which I am unaware? Do I recognize the fact
that a fear of bonding reflects a lack of self-confidence in my own
sovereignty?
Exercise for the day: Actualize your sovereignty by
intensifying your bond with a close one.
Day 49 -- Malchut of Malchut:
Nobility in Nobility
Examine the sovereignty of your sovereignty. Does it come
from deep-rooted inner confidence in myself? Or is it
just a put-on to mask my insecurities? Does that cause my sovereignty to be
excessive? Am I aware of my uniqueness as a person? Of my
personal contribution?
Exercise for the day: Take a moment and concentrate on
yourself, on your true inner self, not on your performance and how you project
to others; and be at peace with yourself knowing that God created a very
special person which is you.
After the 49 days of Counting the
Omer, after having fully achieved inner renewal by merit of having assessed and
developed each of our 49 attributes, we arrive at the fiftieth day. On this day
we celebrate the Festival of Shavuot, the giving of the Torah (Matan Torah). After we have accomplished all we can through
our own initiative, then we are worthy to receive a gift (matan)
from Above which we could not have achieved with our
own limited faculties. We receive the ability to reach and touch the Divine;
not only to be cultivated human beings who have refined all of our personal
characteristics, but divine human beings who are capable of expressing
ourselves above and beyond the definitions and limitations of our beings.
Excerpted from "A Spiritual Guide to Counting the
Omer" by Rabbi Simon Jacobson. This unique book is now available in
English and in Hebrew online at http://www.meaningfullife.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=OMER&Category_Code=B
This article can also be read at: http://www.aish.com/omerThemes/omerThemesDefault/Daily_Omer_Meditation_.asp
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